Yes, I just ordered six eggs and no I'm not worried about my cholesterol. I imagine this meal doesn't exactly jive with your food pyramid logic, no doubt the fact that I'm missing my 8 servings of white bread for breakfast is causing severe cognitive dissonance. Yes, I do eat a lot of protein and no I'm not worried about damage to my kidneys. They're doing just fine, except for tonight, when 18 miller lite's are going to give them a hell of a workout. Yeah man, I don’t have a beer gut because I exercise some...By your strange bench type motions and steely gaze I suppose your asking me if I lift heavy things, yeah man...totally, it’s a lot of fun.
What do I rep? What the fuck does that mean? Oh I get it, you are trying to size me up and figure out how strong I am...uh, I just got 365 on bench last week, pretty happy about tha...Oh I see, you're launching into a story about...what is this? Ah yes, back in high school you benched 8320 for 10 reps. Nice. Too bad you're fat now.
What is this now? You want workout advice? Sure man, I like to help people discover how strong they can be. First you want to look into some complex multi-joi....oh, you didn’t REALLY want advice, you just wanted an excuse to explain to me how much you do on the leg extension machine. Nice. I can see it has really translated to an Atlas-like physique. Your knee hurts? No WAI! Might I suggest doing squats rather than leg extensions so you don't try and cannonade your patella into space? What's that? You used to do squats but you hurt your back 18 years ago shoveling snow? Well I suppose it doesn’t matter that much as long as you eat right, I've noticed that you seem to be a carbmonster, and judging from your overall fatbody I've reached the conclusion that you are not an ultramarathon runner. So I guess what I'm getting at is where's the beef?
Oh I see, you eat this donutwich for breakfast then you starve yourself for 11 hours until dinner, when you have something halfway decent. You should really keep your metabolism go....oh right, again you didn’t want advice, you just wanted an excuse to tell me about how awesome fish oil is. Yeah, right, got it. Heard the story. Nope, doesn’t seem to be stopping you, you're still telling me about how great it is for your skin. That's good I suppose, because you sure have a lot of it. Ok, this conversation is wearing on me, time to freak you the fuck out so I can eat my cold eggs.
"Yeah I drink fish oil right from the bottle but sometimes when I throw up after widowmakers the fish vomit makes me vomit again and then my dog comes up and eats it but that’s ok because dogs are dogs right?"
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