Showing posts with label Deltoids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deltoids. Show all posts

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Making of the Strong Fat Man, Part Two

Zoids has been party to many different lifting routines over the ages: body part split, GVT, total body, Westside, high rep, low rep, no rep...the list goes on. It would be easy for me to conclude that the best of these workouts is westside since I am the strongest now that I ever have been, but that would sell short the objectives of the other training methods. Westside is geared towards the big three: squat, deadlift, bench. Who knows what your physique will be when you have a combined of 1500, but westside will get you there. GVT will probably give you the most money body, but I don't see the fun in benching 185 100 times, I'd rather bench 405 once.

Anyway, the point I am belaboring is that every training method has a different goal, an ideal body that it attempts to produce. You should bear that in mind anytime you read a new routine and say to yourself "what kind of body is this routine trying to build?" If you are reading a routine in Maxim, chances are that body is a slim emo turbo douche who struggles to lift the most modest of weights, but has totally killer sweet abz!

This training regimen, heretofore referred to as the big movement workout, is designed for the large man who desires to get strong. He will probably lose significant body fat while ascribing to this plan, but the overall goal of this routine is to get STRONG, not turn into Brad Pitt. Mainly because I have no experience being Brad Pitt. If you follow this workout (and part 1) you will undoubtedly lose weight, but more than anything it is going to turn you into this guy...

rather than this guy...


The purpose of the big movement workout is to utilize big movements. Squat, deadlift, bench, row, lunge! These are the staples. The big guy needs to divorce himself from working his smaller muscles because the focus needs to be on building muscle, rather than shaping it. The best way to stimulate muscle growth is to put as much of your body into as much strain as possible in a single movement. This workout is geared around several major exercises intended to drain you, but not cause hypertrophy. Remember, build muscle...not shape it. It is absolutely crucial make muscle before even considering the move to higher rep workouts.

Big Movement focuses on large, hellish movements. Isolation exercises are really in here only to fill in the gaps, as spending any more than token time on your smaller muscle groups is a waste. Any time you feel as though you aren't spending enough time on your guns, bear in mind THERE ARE NO GUYS WHO PULL 600 THAT HAVE SMALL BICEPS!

On to the workout, I have set this up as a 4 day routine.

Day 1 Heavy Legs 1
Day 2 Off
Day 3 Upper Body 1, Light Cardio
Day 4 Off
Day 5 Heavy Legs 2
Day 6 Upper Body 2, Light Cardio
Day 7 Off

First, a note on the addition of cardio...

I am highly resistant to the idea of adding cardio, I am firm believer in not sending mixed signals to your cardiovascular system, and any real effort on any machine is going to temper your musculature for two wholly different operations. However, until the big man packs on a lot of muscle, his body will not be prepped to burn more calories. Without the addition of lots of lean muscle, he will probably require some additional cardio in the beginning. For now, I have added light cardio into this workout...but it certainly is not a long term idea.

Light cardio means 20-30 minutes tops, at a light to moderate effort. A good workout may be a 2 mile jog, 30 minutes of walking on the treadmill at an incline of 8-15%, or 20 minutes on the erg at a slow rate (18-20 SPM) at somewhere between 2:04 and 2:10. The key here is to stay well below your lactic threshold. If at any time you feel like your heart rate is anything higher than 70%, turn it down.

If you have the ability to go to the gym more than 4 times per week, I would strongly urge the large man to put these cardio workouts on separate days, as far away from lifting as possible.

Remember....cardio is a secondary effort, and is only around to get your heart rate up and burn a little fat. Do not pursue cardio with any high degree of effort or you will find your ability to lift severely curtailed, muscle growth is the long term solution for burning fat...not cardio.


Heavy Legs 1:

Squat: 3 sets of 5, 2 sets of 3, 1 set of 1.
The goal here is to slowly pare down into one heavy lift that won't quite be an accurate measure of your 1 rep max (because you should be fairly exhausted by then) but will be fairly close. Squats should be performed with heavy weight ranging from 75% of your max all the way up to 90%. Take your time in between sets, your goal here is quality sets...not a high heart rate.
Stiff legged or Romanian Deadlift: 4 sets of 6
Time to hit the hammies and lower back! These exercises are far more effective than queer leg curls, and your lower back shouldn't be that tired from squats. Make an effort to keep you back rigid flat, and your knees almost locked.
Mid Abdominals: 4 sets of 8-10
Contrary to popular opinion, big strong guys should not do endless crunches to work their abs. I don't know why it took me so long to realize that every other exercise in my routine was high weight, low rep...why shouldn't abs be the same? Anyway, a good way to work your abs here is to set up the incline sit up bench at a height where you struggle your way through 8-10 reps.

Upper Body 1, Light Cardio

Bench Press: 3 sets of 5, 2 sets of 3, 1 set of 1
Same deal as the squat. Your grip should be precisely shoulder width (yes, this is a bit narrow) and you need to concentrate on pointing your elbows forward through both the concentric and eccentric phase. This is purely for shoulder health, it is very easy to turn your elbows out to engage more of your pecs, but you put your shoulder into a horrendous amount of external rotation. Save your rotator cuff and AC joint and go with a narrow(er) grip, elbows forward. It is harder in the short term because it throws more weight on your triceps...but hey...work your triceps more and quite whining.
DB standing Military press: 4 sets of 6
Sorry, I love shoulders. They have to find their way into this routine somewhere. I have them after chest so there is no question that emphasis is on pecs, not shoulders. Do them standing so you won't cheat.
Tricep Extensions (any variation): 3 sets of 10-12
A bit of hypertophy at the end.
Lower Abdominals: 4 sets of 8
Low ab pull in, leg raises, roman chair thingie...all these are great for your lower abs, or as I like to call it, the sex region.

Heavy Legs 2

Deadlift: 8 sets of 2
There are about 2 billion different variations of deadlift, so I would use this to your advantage and mix things up every once in a while. However, I'd stick to conventional for the first 2 months to get your form right and build up some posterior chain strength. Refer to part 1, part 2, and part 3 of this guy's info to get your form right.
Lunges: 4 sets of 6
Check this link out for proper form. It is easy to screw these up.
Upper Abdominals: 4 sets of 8
You'll never hear me say this again, but those sit ups on that damn ball are pretty effective. I started doing these as well.

Upper Body 2, Light Cardio

Pullups: 5 sets of 5
Now, I know it is going to be damn near impossible for our big guy to do a pullup. But that shouldn't stop the big guy from doing pull-downs. Pull downs are damn near intrinsic for lat development, which gives your arms a platform to lay down on as you bench (you are doing narrow grip, right?). The road to being a sailsman is paved with the pulldown. Just make sure you don't look like a worm on a hook, don't lean back or jerk the weight down, and pull it to just below chin level. Nice and slow.
Rows: 4 sets of 6
Again, lots of variation here. You can do t-row, bent over row, wide grip row, close grip, supinated grip row...all you have to do is make sure you don't exceed what you can do an honest rep with. Now, I am not saying bring the bar back until it touches your chest (unless you are doing bent over row) because this is generally beyond the limits of flexibility...but you'll know when you are cheating too much. It is important you keep your wits about you because back is an easy cheat when it is difficult to discern if you are done with a rep. Chest is easy...your rep is complete when you touch the bar to your chest (you are touching the bar to your chest?)...but back can be a bit more subjective. Just play it smart and don't rack up a whole lot of weight to do what is essentially a glorified shrug.
BB half bench: 4 sets of 5
Since you are moving to a narrower bench grip, you need to spend some time developing your triceps a bit more than normal. I love half bench. It trains the lockout from 4 inches above your chest up, where most people fail. It will take some time to get used to pausing in mid-air above your chest, but this exercise is killer for training your failure at lockout.


The Four Principles of the Big Movement Workout:

1) Never sacrifice big movements for small ones.
In other words, don't breeze through your chest just to get to shoulder or biceps. Never "save yourself" so that you can hit some new max with any smaller muscle group.
2) Quality sets, Quality reps
Keep your form, make every rep count, and rest plenty between the major lifts.
3) To become strong and in shape, you must build muscle, to build muscle you must strain your body to the maximum.
You must keep your motivation and push yourself week to week. These are big motions, and it takes a lot of gumption to get up set after set for tortuous squats...much more motivation than doing a set of curls. But you reap what you sow, the more you put in the more you get out.
4) Eat smart, and eat plenty.
Don't starve yourself, and eat lots of kittens.


Go get 'em.


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Fraptious Day

It is a sad day. Last night I came to the horrid realization that the rotator cuff is truly, honest to god, 100% injured, whereas previously I thought I had a mild tweak. Constant bull-headed aggravation has lead a minor injury into one that needs to rest for a considerable length of time. This realization precludes the awful truth that I need to take a complete 1 - 2 months off chest, back, and shoulders.

This is a crippling fact.

But it is either that, or suffer a debilitating injury that will hinder me the rest of my life. I'll go ahead and stop the whining now, because it is starting to piss me off. The trick now is to devise a workout plan that won't let me shrivel into the 170 lb stick I was about a year ago. The lynch-pin here is intervals.

If I start erging 10k a day, 5 days a week, by April I will have lost just about 50% of the gains I have made in the past 9 months. But if I keep the erg workouts short and explosive, I should stay in a primarily anaerobic zone. It won't be perfect, but with the addition of two leg days a week and some lighter arms, I should stave off looking like an Ethiopian for a while yet.

Here is a tentative plan, that I think all those who are healing from lingering upper body injuries should use, because I am a fucking fitness genius.

Sunday ------------------Heavy Legs: Squat, Deadlift, Step-up
Monday---------- 8 x 500 @ Anaerobic max, 2:30 off, r20-24
Tuesday--- 4k light, r20-22. Hammies: Lunges, Stiff-leg Deadlift
Wednesday--Light- moderate weight isolated arms. Slow reps
Thursday-------- 8 x 500 @ Anaerobic max, 2:30 off, r20-24
Friday -------4 x 1000 @ Anaerobic threshhold, 3:30 off, r20-24
Saturday -----------------I toil not.


Friday, December 7, 2007

Paean to the Deltoid

Unfortunately, about a week ago Zoidberg injured his rotator cuff at the gym. After struggling for the next couple of days the slow realization that I needed a week off (from lifting) slowly depressed me. Anyway, I severely miss military press so I will take the time to make sure that others will enjoy it properly while I sit by and grow envious of your delicious healthy tendons.

Often, Zoidberg hears and sees men at the gym who complain about stagnation with the bench press. They tell me that they have been benching the same weight forever, and can't seem to bust through to bigger irons no matter what changes to their pec routine or diet they employ. My subsequent question to them is then, "what do you do for shoulders?"


Invariably, the response is something akin to, "well, I usually do a couple sets of military on my arms day." A more morally depraved axiom does not exist in the weight room (save not doing legs and the hip adductor). Ignoring your shoulders, a muscle group that exists as the fulcrum between your chest and arms, is like failing to realize why your muscle car isn't fast when it's got a 427 and big hoosier slicks, but the transmission from a Chrysler.

All poor metaphors aside, shoulders are absolutely crucial to muscular development in your body. Your deltoids are a gigantic muscle group far larger/stronger than your arms, why would you ignore them? Or worse, shovel them in with another muscle group. Without a solid deltoid regimen, you lack the proper heave necessary to succeed in bench. Now, I understand the resistance. Shoulder workouts are often composed of several exercises which are both a pain in the ass, uncomfortable, and easy to cheat/screw-up (raises).

This is Zoidberg's shoulder regimen, it works really well for me. Then again, I am genetically disposed to do two things, military press and lose hair.

Variable Military Press: 3 or 4 sets of 6
Barbell Upright Row: 3 sets of 8
Standing Behind the Neck Press: 3 sets of 6 to 8
Dumbbell Front Raise: 3 sets of 8
Dumbbell Side Raise: 3 sets of 8

BAM! Simple. Efficient. Easy to replicate. Notice one thing that is missing? Shrugs. Seriously, why would any human being waste time with shrugs? Want big traps? Do upright rows. Want to look like a retard? do neck lifts. But spare me doing shrugs.

The first exercise is variable. Recently I have been doing standing barbell military press because it is almost impossible to cheat by leaning back. However, it is good to mix it up and try dumbbells every once in a while. It is absolutely imperative that you bring the bar/weights down to chin level. Going down to where your upper arms are parallel works the tricep far more, and the deltoid far less. Also, that's how girls do it.

Upright rows are a very versatile, they help with a myriad of back exercises, are excellent with that last part of the deadlift, and contrary to popular belief will
not give you gigantic traps and turn you into some grotesquerie.

Behind the necks fall into my general rule of "exercises that have the highest possibility of injury often confer the best benefit when done correctly" (Clean and press, stiff-leg deadlift, etc.).

Raises are pretty straightforward. Don't bend your arms at the elbow too much, do them sitting if you find yourself swinging, and don't go for maximum weight here. Let military press be your exercise you barely eke out 5 reps on.

Have a pleasant weekend filled with exertion and booze. Make sure you do it for yourself, not for anyone else.